cleveland...rocks?

I think I have Adult ADD. Either that or my best friend and I only have it when we're together, because I can't think of any other way this could have happened to us. Well, other than the fact that we just simply weren't paying attention (it's a long story, you might want to get comfortable)...

So, B and I went to Cleveland to see Joshua Radin. I love him and she was along for the ride because she’s always up for a road trip and she trusts my taste in music. We roll into Cleveland with no problem. That is, until we tried to get to Euclid Street where the House of Blues was located. It was blocked off. You know the drill, cones, signs, barrels and flashing lights telling me “ROAD CLOSED.” So, I make a left, figuring that if it’s at all like any other US city, we’ll just go down a little further, cut across and get onto Euclid that way. Apparently, Cleveland is nothing like any other US city. We ended up on St. Clair. Then Prospect. Then West 32nd. We circled downtown Cleveland for about 40 minutes until we ended up on the far end of Euclid and found a parking garage close to the HOB. The good news was that we only missed the beginning of Josh’s set. I had really wanted to see him live and he was awesome. (Insert shameless plug here: http://www.joshuaradin.com/)

So, it was a really fun time. We leave the HOB, get back to the car and head out of C-town. About 5 minutes out, B and I have different ideas about which way to go. We sit at a light and she convinces me to take 422 to get to 77. So I do. We end up in the mo-freaksta ghetto. It was actually starting to get terrifying when B announces that she needs iced tea. sweet tea to be exact. I look at her like she has seven heads, but she tells me to pull into a gas station and she’ll be fine. I tell her I will but that there’s not a chance in hell I’m getting out of my car. She runs into the store and while I’m sitting in the glowing light of an enormous Colt 45 sign, she asks four thugs how we find 77. After they laugh at her (which was, in her summation, only “because I’m white”) she gets directions and pretty soon we’re on 77 and heading home.

So. A couple of girls on the highway, talking, laughing, talking and...well...talking. It wasn’t until two hours later that I stopped B mid-sentence.

“Wait. Wait. It’s 1 am. Get out the directions-how long were we supposed to be on 77?”

B pulls out the directions, takes a look and claps her hand over her mouth.

“Oh my god, oh my god...15.1 miles.”

We’d been on it for 2 hours.

We dig out maps from my glove compartment, and I see that we’ll be fine if I just get on 30 East. We’re on 30 for about 45 minutes when we come to a “T” in the road. And there are no signs for 30 East. I can go 62 East or 62 West. I have no idea how I ended up on 62. We pull over and I don’t think anyone in the history of the world has strung together a string of obscenities like I did. It was actually noteworthy. Hence, the reason I'm noting it. Anyway. That’s when we see the flashing cop lights. They pull up behind us and get out of their patrol car. The one walks over to the passenger-side window, sees two girls sitting there with the interior light on, heads bent over a map of Ohio and states the obvious.

“You girls lost?” Yeah. We’re lost. We tell him we need to get to Pittsburgh.

He looks at me and says, “Oh, then you want to be on 30 east.”

“I thought we WERE on 30 east.”

“No, you’re on 62.”

“Well, I know, but I know I was on 30 at some point. I took the exit, I swear.”

He just sort of shook his head and I wanted to choke him.

Then he walks over to his partner, they pow-wow and he comes back to tell us that they’re going to take us to 30 themselves. He told me to follow him and once they pulled off by the Marathon station I just needed to make a left and we’d be on 30. It was really nice of him, and we thought it must be a testament to our hotness…but then a friend of ours said that it was probably just because we looked really pathetic and it was obvious we had no idea where we were. I maintain it's because we're hot.

End of story: 30 East is a nasty, backwoods, God-forsaken road out of Ohio, into West Virginia and finally into Pennsylvania. We should have been home at 1am. We got home at 5. It was glorious.

the 411

so, i came here to have my stuff posted somewhere all together. myspace is...well, it's myspace. i feel a bit more comfortable here. i've been dodging the "self-proclaimed porn king of pittsburgh" for the past few weeks. it's starting to take it's toll on me. anyway, the poems i've put up are old school with the exception of the most recently posted 3. the others are from the not-so-distant glory days, or something like them.

in other news, i cut my bottom lip on a pretzel today. incidentally, i think i just realized that "pretzel" is a word that isn't going to ever look like you spelled it right, even though you did. or i did. whatever. back to my story. it was a snyder's sourdough pretzel and i broke a piece off and after that...ok, honestly, i'm not sure how it happened at all. i just know it did. that might be a metaphor for something but i'm not touching it.

tow

I'm listening,
helpless and hushed-
trying to let your truth drown out the nonsense.
Waiting for that tangled mess that took my tongue,
that fed me fear, to sink-
weighed down by your words.
The ones you whispered,
the ones you screamed,
and the ones you mouthed-
just hoping that I saw.

dig

Dig deep and uproot this ancient heartache.
Wrap your able hands around this coil of a lie
that was planted when I was too young to know better-
and too stubborn to listen.
Shift this heavy soil that has it hidden but not suffocated
and watch it come to light.
I want to feel the earth move under me as you pull it to the outside
and present it to me.
A familiar enemy that kept me grounded in my selfishness,
and left me stranded on the surface.
Immovable. Unshakable. Untouchable.
Shake me free and cut back this ugliness.
Wrap your able hands around my willing heart and squeeze.




artwork by will kinchlea

ripe

Pick me up and examine me like so much produce.
Squeeze, shake, prod and poke until youre satisfied
Im ripe.
Pull back the peel and shed me of this skin.
A cast-off covering disclosing what I am--
sectioned and sugary,
sometimes sour.
I can feed a craving
or pucker your perfect mouth.

memorized

I know how you feel
because I cant forget
the weight of you-
heavy on my chest.
No conflict
just compliance-
reckless and rash.
Humility stifled
by my self-importance
while we camouflage want-
as need.

close

you are my moving forward.
a hand where there was none
stepping in your shadow
through sand water stone
you remain steady.
placing my feet carefully
where yours have been
each move slow and deliberate
unassuming and thick with purpose.
you walk on ahead;
i'll follow.

foolish

you reach out, i shrink back
off track and put off
trapped in, caught up, cut up
and non-stop. make me stay,
watch me go, push me out
take me home. show me off,
hide the goods, kiss my mouth
if you could. coax me out,
watch me fall, bite your lip
when i call, no solace,
but silence, so golden i’m holding
your right hand and looking
just so fucking foolish.

touch & go

i'm not thrilled that you've managed to turn me into a one trick pony.
i have an aversion to being smothered and pinned down.
it makes me itch. it makes me restless. and suddenly my skin doesn't fit.

i want you to come closer so i can tell you to leave.

down the rabbit's hole

i'm alice. i've tripped down the rabbit's hole and ended up in wonderland. i can't figure out how i got here. i've done nothing wrong except stumble over my own two feet. but i probably could have avoided this whole miserable adventure if i had steadily been putting one foot in front of the other instead of chasing something i had no business wanting in the first place.

all i know is, like alice, i hardly know who i am anymore. and everytime i start to settle into a place where i might know, i'm magically transformed again. taller, shorter, stronger, weaker, harder, softer. one moment i have compassion, the next it's gone. one moment i want to run away and the next i can't move my feet.

alice got out of wonderland by waking from a dream. i can't tell if waking from what was all a crazy dream would be a relief, or a tragedy. i'll guess we'll wait and see....

"Who are you?" said the Caterpillar.

"I--I hardly know, Sir, just at present--at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have changed several times since then."

"What do you mean by that?" said the Caterpillar, sternly. "Explain yourself!"

"I can't explain myself, I'm afraid, Sir," said Alice, "because I'm not myself, you see."

chained

you me we
weak mean and sordid.
i never wanted you
but i was lazy and easy.
you were sad and bitter
and wanted to rob me of my mad beauty.

you say i am a delicate gorgeous girl
and i am chained to your lying tongue.