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It's Christmas. And I can't stop crying.

Here's a little known fact about me--when I'm alone and hear Christmas carols-I cry. Sometimes it happens when I'm not alone. Christmas Eve services (this year's being no exception) are usually really difficult for me to endure...only because I'm desperately trying to avoid being seen weeping openly over a candlelit rendition of "Silent Night."

I think in years past, I always chalked it up to the emotion of the season--but this year it was something more. This year, the waterworks started one random Wednesday evening in my basement--to a version of "Hark The Herald Angels Sing." I'd always heard it sung as "offspring of a virgin's womb" but the version I was listening to said, "offspring of the favored one." Cue the tears. I guess that's what's at the heart of it for me. God, Himself, looked down from His heaven and saw this woman--this girl--and He chose her to carry His Son. God saw her, knew her, and thought, "Yeah. She could do this. She's going to be the mother of the Son of God." Which, all my fellow protestants--forgive me, just begs the question...what was it about her? And maybe more importantly...how can I get it? Check this out:

"And the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God." Luke 1:30

So, my fascination with Mary continues...and call it what you want, but I want that thing she had. I have no idea how to get it, but I'm finally starting to believe that change is possible. And maybe favor is, too...maybe it's possible that the Lord sees me and knows I'm capable of great things--even if I don't.