Maundy Thursday

It's day 5 of Holy Week. And this is the one that gets to me.

It's not that I have a favorite part of Christ's suffering and ultimate death, but this is the one that makes me feel closest to Him. Because years ago, it was here that I realized He gets it.

38 Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” 39 And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.”

Did you catch that?

42 Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.”

I have a hard time reading that and not being simultaneously heartbroken and hopeful. He was begging. He went to His Father and asked Him, not once, but twice--to get Him out of this thing He had to do.

My mum once told me that she read somewhere that Christ wasn't asking the cup to be taken from Him because He was afraid of the physical pain, or death itself--it was that He knew that for that one moment, God had to turn His back on Him. The very idea of being separated from the Father for even a moment, broke Him. And that just wrecks me.

But He did it. And it's not an amazing thing just because He did it--we all know that story. The other side of that story is that He knows what it's like to have to answer to the Father. He knows what it feels like to be handed a task that you'd rather not do. A sacrifice you'd rather not make. Jesus, Himself, knows how hard it is to obey God.

The magnitude of that isn't lost on me.