This is an actual email, sent into manuscript review for the company I work for.
________________________________________________
How are you doing today? I read your guidelines, and I don't have an agent. They are very hard to find, but I am a published writer.
My most recent book is published by Published America. It is about forgiveness and the spiritual and emotional growth of a woman.
I would like to introduce my latest book entitled, The witch that stole my husband and the Mother -in-law that helped. I am using witch as a metaphor: The other woman, seductive, luring and how they are able to entice our husband away from us. It teaches a woman to understand what happened to their marriage and why.
This book is Christian oriented, and I would like to find a publisher that would like to take a chance on a new author.
Actually, I have several articles, and shorties published including a book on e-books. This one is fiction. I hope to hear in the near future.
Sincerely,
One of the many uneducated, foolish women using the name of God, and the insecurities of other women, to capitalize on the trash she calls printable material.
(Um. That's not her real name. I made that part up.)
Thursday, February 28, 2008
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5 comments:
I'm laughing my ass off over here.
I just did a google search for "burning the mattress" and the results are not good for your emailer.
The first hit is a video of someone literally burning a mattress with gasoline. The second hit is a how-to on removing urine from a mattress. And the best is that your blog is in the top ten hits for that search tag.
Not a very good writer if a random blogger can put your book title in a post and on the same day make Google's top ten search hits.
LOL oh crap...i better change the titles. i don't want her googling herself and finding that!
does anyone else think it's fabulous that she's had some "shorties" published?
Um really this was one of the many reasons today I had wished I was deaf and dumb and blind today.
Sometimes life is so frustrating. I am thinking writing even the worst book ever takes alot of time but apparently there are many people that time is all they got.
Can't handle it...It was funny though.
i know...but we better laugh--or we'll cry. ;)
did i ever tell you about the one i have in a file somewhere that i photocopied? it was a guy who wrote a book about the demons that lived in his attic. there's no metephor there--he seriously said he had demons in his actual attic.
he sent pictures. i made copies.
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